Shifting Perspectives: Decoding the Fear of Change

Rob Brown (00:00):

That little change was something he was afraid to do because he was confident he was gonna miss something. This led him to feeling much greater peace throughout the day because that busyness that he was experiencing went away because he was able to focus on what was most important. The high

Phil Calandra (00:16):

five in the mirror to me, exemplifies a small change in mindset. It’s giving yourself the permission to have confidence, to start the day on a positive note, that you’re not going to be beaten down by the endless noise of the world. 

We live in one simple thing, change our mindset, conquer fear. If you’re uncomfortable, then you’re probably heading in the right direction.

Rob Brown (00:47):

Welcome to the Truest Fan Blueprint, a podcast for financial advisors, and other professionals looking to get the most out of yourself and your business. I’m Rob Brown, and my partner, Phil Calandra.

 And I promise to walk you through a journey that will allow you to take action in your business and your life, so that you can be the best that you can possibly be. Thanks for listening.

Rob Brown (01:24):

Welcome to the truest fan blueprint, Rob Brown here along with my partner, Phil Calandra. We’re excited to be with you today. Because we’re going to talk about a great topic, embracing change. 

It’s been on my mind a lot lately, because as I’ve been working with advisors, and just talking to people and different things that I’m involved in, I’m struck by the reluctance to not only embrace change, but even to accept or consider change, fail you running into the same thing.

Phil Calandra (02:03):

This is a topic that fascinates me. And I reminded First off, something my grandfather taught me, probably 40 years ago, there’s nothing more permanent than change. It’s coming at us in every aspect of our life. 

So why do we resist it? And it’s a one word answer. It’s a one syllable answer, fear. We’re afraid. Anytime something of change comes at you, it doesn’t matter if it’s in your family and your business pursuits spiritually, we’re afraid, we don’t want to get uncomfortable. 

And that’s what prevents people from embracing and going through change. And it’s going to be forever. That’s human nature. It’s the world we live in. So I think this is an important topic to discuss

Rob Brown (02:52):

it absolutely is and to is to speak to it at a very practical level. Because you know, I just finished writing a blog post about a client who had a very successful technique for networking with other professionals that he absolutely enjoyed and had great success with for years. 

But then, for some reason, and we still can’t quite explain it, his results started to diminish. And he decided he needed to look for something else, he just decided, you know, I’m going to find that next silver bullet solution doesn’t matter if I have to spend 1020 $30,000 for it, anything has to be better than what I’m currently doing. 

And as his coach, you know, I just kind of had to listen and go along and let him explore. I can’t tell somebody what to do as their coach, I can only guide them. But I would consistently say, you know, Jack, what you’ve got to do is think that maybe it’s just your, your mindset, the way that you’re approaching this thing that you like to do that needs to be adjusted, maybe it’d become stale, and he goes, now that can’t be it, that can’t be it. 

And then finally, he said, You know, I’m gonna give it a try. I’m gonna try some new ways of approaching my professional networking, but I’m going to go in with a positive mindset, a positive attitude, I’m not going to be afraid of not getting results. 

And of course, as luck in hard work would have it a few weeks later, he brings in five new seven figure opportunities just by doing what he had done, but taking a different approach and sticking to it. 

So yeah, sometimes, you know, it’s just that small change that can produce big results. And we’ve got to understand that the changes that we look for sometimes aren’t as great as we make them out to be You?

Phil Calandra (05:00):

Absolutely Well, that’s the saying small hinges swing big doors. Yeah. And that’s absolutely true in so many areas of our life. And I think a lot of it, it develops from mindset, right? We’ve talked about that before, I’m sure we’ll talk about it again, somebody’s mindset about a given topic or given subject starts to breed with them themselves. 

The first the motivation, second, the discipline and the persistence, to keep plowing through in that direction. Like, I believe it’s what keeps us from trying different things, in a lot of cases is fear. If you’re scared to make that little tweak, or that little change, then you’re probably on the right track. 

If it’s scaring you just enough, then you know that that action, all success in life comes from acting, all failure comes from reacting. But if your little nudge, right, we hear that in our subconscious, if it’s just fearful, if it’s just a little scary, then you’re probably on the right track, then you need to develop in yourself that discipline.

 That’s where coaching comes in. Having a good support network around you, whether it’s a spouse, whether it’s a loved one business partners, to help you continue to explore and like you said, Rob, it doesn’t have to be some earth shattering. 

And in most cases, it’s not it’s always the small things that we can do. It’s like dieting or your physical fitness, right? I talk often about my experience, doing Ironman triathlons, and and nine marathons. I was an above average athlete, but never had done any magnitude or massive endurance event.

And how do you get to the finish line of 140 mile Ironman? The first step, you take one step, you take two steps, it’s the small things that you change, and that develops the outcome that you want in any area.

Rob Brown (07:08):

Yeah, that’s a great point. And a great example, although maybe to some. I know, to me, that sounds daunting, but I don’t have any desire to be a triathlete. It’s a little bit nutty that, but but, you know, I’m thinking of another conversation that I had with a client a few weeks ago, who was feeling totally overwhelmed, because he was just so busy in his business. 

And I looked at the situation I said, The problem is, you’re thinking about it too much. I said, Turn your phone off at seven o’clock, stop looking at that blue screen, stop, you know, filtering through all of these ideas that you’re seeing on social media that you think can fix your busyness get away from it for a while, right. 

And he spent a couple of weeks you know, turning off his phone, you know, at 7pm and not turning it on again until he was ready to actually go to work. So, you know, 12 ish hours of No, no screen time. 

And that little change, something he was afraid to do cuz he was confident he was gonna miss something has led him to feeling much greater peace throughout the day, because that busyness that he was experiencing, went away because he was able to focus on what was most important, that small, little change, being brave enough to try it. You know, turning off your cell phone doesn’t seem like something that should be brave, but the gang addictive?

Phil Calandra (08:49):

Oh, it absolutely is. And I think that’s part of the problem now, in the culture that we live in the society that we live in. We live in a 24/7 minute by minute pounding, if you’re on any social media, and everybody’s telling you how to, to get rich, quick, how easy it is. 

And I would argue it’s not easy. It is simple, right? The rules of success, no matter what you choose, are really very simple. They’re not easy, because in a lot of cases, it goes against human nature. 

But I think our culture, our society is so beaten down by this minute by minute 24/7 bombardment of ideas. And you know, we talk about it, it’s that the silver dot syndrome, right, we’re always looking, we’re reacting instead of acting very simply, on the things that are small in nature, but create massive change over time. 

It’s like turning the Titanic, right? It’s one loose shift that makes that cruise liner go complete. Like 100 miles in another direction, but it’s not a major turn, it’s the little shift. That makes the big, big impact.

Rob Brown (10:07):

Yeah. And so Phil, you know, one of the things that we try to do on our podcast is give our listeners a way to take action. And we didn’t talk about this ahead of time. So feel free to disagree with me. 

But I think one of the other things that we need to think about when we talk about embracing change is we can’t change everything, all at once agree that we may want to make some changes in our business in our life and our relationship with God who knows what it might be, but it’s hard to do, change everything at the same time. 

And even if we focus on one area, we’re tempted to try multiple things. So I would suggest is that if there’s something that our listeners are thinking about in their business in their life, they would like to change the action point should be, pick one thing, pick one area, and then pick one small thing that you can change, right? 

Put that into action, and let that cause the momentum to move forward for a more complete change or extended change. A great example of this is I was reading about a technique of a, a, a morning, high five, that you give yourself, you know, a lot of people some are struggle, I know I do some days struggle to kind of get up with energy and get going. 

But the idea was to look yourself in the mirror, put your hand up against the mirror for five seconds, and tell yourself how awesome you are. Maybe you’re struggling with self belief, you know, you don’t recognize what a great person God created in Yeah, maybe it’s time to just build on that self beliefs by looking in the mirror, giving yourself a high five for five seconds. 

And just talking about all the good things that you’re doing in this world, or to help your family or to grow your business. It can sound terrifying, who wants to look at themselves in the mirror in the morning in the first place, and then give yourself a high five and so but anyway, just that, to me, that’s an example of taking a small action towards a big result. But without having to do anything crazy. Yeah, no, I

Phil Calandra (12:24):

love that. I love that. And to me, that’s one little simple thing. The high five in the mirror to me, exemplifies a small change in mindset, it’s giving yourself the permission, in this case, high fiving the mirror to have confidence, start the day in a positive note that you’re not going to be beaten down by the endless noise of the world we live in. 

Yeah, one simple thing, change mindset. And, you know, conquer the fear. If you’re uncomfortable, then you’re probably heading in the right direction.

Rob Brown (13:02):

Yeah, because experience a little discomfort in that change. isn’t a bad thing.

Phil Calandra (13:07):

Yeah. Get out of the cold feel. I

Rob Brown (13:08):

think this is. Yeah, yeah. Embrace the non comfort zone or the discomfort zone. Yeah. Because it’s okay. Because to really accomplish important things, you almost always have to go through a period of discomfort or pain or adjustment or whatever you want to call it. Totally. So feel before we completely land the plane on this topic. Is there anything else that you’d like to add to the discussion?

Phil Calandra (13:35):

Yeah, you know, I would say change is permanent. It’s always coming at us and kind of hit home on the on the comfort zone, you will become over time, whether you’re an athlete, whether you’re a performer, singer, whether you’re in business presenting, you will get more and more comfortable getting out of your comfort zone, get comfortable getting or going out of your comfort zone. And that will make all the difference. I hope that helps.

Rob Brown (14:08):

Now, that absolutely helps. So thanks, everybody for listening to this episode of the truest fan blueprints. We look forward to seeing you and or talking to you or are you watching us however, you’re looking at this format in future episodes and remember, most importantly, we’re rooting for your success. Take care. 

Thanks for joining us for this episode of the Truest Fan Blueprint. If you want to learn more, head over to our website truest fan.com. On the site, you’ll learn more about becoming a truest fan. You’ll also find today’s show notes and links to the other gifts and resources we talked about during this episode. Again, thanks for listening and remember We’re rooting for your success