Don’t Regret Anything (Featuring Craig Moncey)

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“Don’t regret anything” sounds like formidable advice. Oftentimes, we find it easy to ignore. During this episode of the Truest Fan Podcast, my guest, Craig Moncey, and I discuss how regret holds us back. Sometimes causing us to unnecessarily relive the past, other times preventing us from taking action today and still other times keeping us from looking positively into the future.

During our conversation, Craig shares where he first learned this advice and how he has taken it to heart in the way he runs his business, loves his family, helps his clients reach their retirement dreams and mentors other advisors as they build their practices. Listen now to learn why this advice is so important and doesn’t have to be out of reach.

To listen, click the play button above. Or click the “Subscribe” button to go to your favorite podcast player.

Show Highlights

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Podcast Transcript

Rob  00:04

This may sound like a tall order but let me give you some advice that you’re going to hear about today on the Truest Fan Podcast, don’t regret anything. That’s the advice that my guest today Craig Moncey received from a sergeant when he was in the army. And it’s advice that he has taken to heart in the way that he runs his business, the way that he loves his family, and the way that he helps his clients reach their retirement goals, the way he helps other advisors build their businesses out into the future. And I think if you listen in, you’ll understand why this advice is so important. And it really isn’t out of reach.

Announcer 00:46

You’re listening to the Truest Fan Podcast. And now here’s your host, Rob Brown.

Rob  00:55

Okay. Welcome, welcome. Happy to be back with a new episode of the Truest Fan Podcast. I am extremely excited today to have on board with us a good friend, a good client, Craig Moncey, who runs his own financial advisory practice in Quincy, Illinois. Welcome aboard, Craig.

Craig Moncey  01:18

No, thank you. Thank you very much. Well, very happy to be here.

Rob  01:21

Yeah. Well, I’m looking forward to our conversation. Because in the work that I do and think about some of the most interesting conversations I have in my coaching work, I think we’ve had some that top my list or certainly within the top, a top three or four, but I won’t, I won’t get into the details of those. So to jump into the podcast, my first question is always, you know, what’s your favorite baseball team? Because my whole idea of being a Truest Fan, it’s not the whole idea. But a big part of it emanates from the fact that I am the self-ascribed World’s Greatest Cleveland Guardians/Indians fan. So, Craig, what’s your what’s your favorite baseball team?

Craig Moncey  02:06

You know, I’m born and raised in St. Louis, Missouri, love the Cardinals. So, it would be very strange for me to pick any other team. So, I’ve never even explored being a fan of any other team besides the Cardinals.

Rob  02:18

Yeah, I love that. Because my loyalty to Cleveland comes from being born and raised there. And I think that is fun to be able to say that I am a Cleveland fan from birth. And it sounds like that’s what you are in St. Louis. And of course, it’s a great team with a great, great tradition, lots of championships, and just good quality players this, it’s a great organization. Has that, has, do you think that shaped you at all in terms of the way that you, you root for things and have loyalty? Do you think your loyalty to the Cardinals plays into any, anything that you do kind of when you think about life and business or raising your kids?

Craig Moncey  02:59

Oh, absolutely. And what I keep going back to with the Cardinals, I’m going to use them as an example. It’s because of their consistency. You know, they’re, they never, they never fail to just do a great job and there never seems like they’re, they boast about it. They don’t, you know, they don’t have a huge budget to bring in huge names, but they, they just always pull it off. And they’re so consistent. And so, I think that’s probably the thing that I think about the most when it comes to the Cardinals is just how every day it’s just out there hitting the ball and trying to get singles and doubles and not, not trying to be showy about it or anything. And but when they did, you know, think of Ozzie Smith, like when it was a little bit showy. It was like with class, and it was, it was cool to watch. It wasn’t, it wasn’t over the top.

Rob  03:45

Right, right. Yeah, this is kind of an interesting year in St. Louis, with Pool Hotes and Molina and somebody else retiring all in the same year-old Cardinals names.

Craig Moncey  03:57

Yeah. And no, my parents would be able to answer those questions like that. There’s not a game that my mom misses. So, I mean, they would be able to tell you exactly who’s on the roster for that evening. I on the other hand, find myself spending a bunch of time with my kids and turning on the TV watching a Cardinals game is just not at the top of the list. But it is something that we try to do from time to time. My daughter is at her grandparents right now. And she was hanging out with Grandpa watching the cards game last night, which was wonderful to see.

Rob  04:28

Right. And actually, your young son was in the office. A week or two ago, we were talking, and I asked him who his favorite baseball team was, and there was no doubt in his mind that it’s the, it’s the Cardinals. Sounds like there’s going to go at least the next generation.

Craig Moncey  04:45

I think so too. And what I found hilarious about that moment was that if you knew how many games we’ve watched, you would have been as shocked as I was have him say St. Louis Cardinals that fast because we just don’t watch that many games compared to the family.

Rob  05:02

You know, I like to let people think that I was watching the Indians play when my triplet daughters were being born. But I wasn’t. And there are a few years in there where I couldn’t pay quite so much attention. But let’s switch gears. I think that’s always fun to talk about because having loyalty to teams, whether it’s baseball or sports that we play is a big part of, a big part of life and learning how to be a team player learning how to be a fan. But let’s, let’s switch gears. I think my favorite question when, when I’m having a conversation on Truest Fan podcast is when you think about great advice that you’ve been given over the years, whether it was something that one of your parents said to you or a mentor that you worked with, that really sticks with you that they said something like, you know, that was good advice, and I’m, I’m using it over and over again, is there something or some things that, that jump out to you,

Craig Moncey  05:57

I think it’s definitely don’t regret anything. And so, I think back to a conversation that I had with a sergeant that I had in the army, and we were talking about different schools that we could go to, and he said, Well, why don’t you go to this one, and I gave the reason why. And it was, it was cheap. It was a cheap answer. He’s like, man, you’re going to regret that decision later. And so, we had a good conversation around regretting things. And so, at the end of the day, I think before making any decision not to do something, asking yourself, if, if you’re going to regret that decision in the future, and really take some time to realize, you know, is it just a moment that I’m saying no, that I don’t want to? Or is it something I really shouldn’t do. And if it’s just in the moment, try to do whatever you can so that you don’t look back in time and regret, man, I really should have taken that trip, or should have spent more time with my kids, or, you know, that friend of mine that passed away really young, I should have spent more time with that. But whatever it is, just don’t regret your decisions for the moment, you know, really think them through

Rob  07:01

Yeah, or, you know, they’re, I guess that and maybe to expand on that just a little bit, it’s really, there are some decisions that you can make quickly. And they can be, you know, maybe mistakes in retrospect, but they were just little mistakes. But it’s those big things where you stop and you ask yourself, you know, should I do this, and you’re feeling a little tired and beaten up, or you’ve got a busy schedule, and you say, I’m not going to, I’m not going to do that.

Craig Moncey  07:29

That’s where the regret settles in. Because, you know, in, in three months, six months, three years, whatever, you’re going to look back at that moment, and say, Man, I really should have done and then fill in the blank. And those are the kind of moments that I’m trying to avoid, you know when my kid asked me to go outside and play catch with the dog, right, you know, throw the ball, but the answer is yes, I might be tired, I might have had a miserable day, it might be 100 degrees outside here in Illinois, but I’m going to go outside because that those moments are incredibly important. And I don’t ever want to regret not doing it.

Rob  08:05

So flip that around, how do you look for those opportunities to do those things that are really important to you and kind of pick your priorities so that making those decisions completely stays away from the possibility of regret?

Craig Moncey  08:21

I’m not really sure I have a, like a formula that I go through to say, you know, is this going to, am I going to regret this in the future? I think it’s just, you know, is this something that somebody’s asking me to do? Because they want me to spend time with them where they, they need the help, or whatever the than the answer should be just Yes. Let’s just Let’s do it. And let’s make sure that we can enjoy that time together, because we don’t know how long we’re going to be on this side of the grass. And we’re certainly it’s never going to be enough. Right. And so, I just, I don’t want to miss out on those things.

Rob  08:53

Yeah. Well, that’s, that’s cool. That idea too about regret, does that come into play in the work that you do as a wealth advisor, when you’re talking to a client and helping them set their goals and make decisions? Do you encourage them with that same sort of advice about, you know, think about what you’re saying that you want to do? Don’t, don’t make this short-term decision about, you know, retiring without enough money because you will regret that later on when you still have life left and no, no financial means to do those things that you want to do. Is that a accurate way of thinking about the way you might have a conversation with a client?

Craig Moncey  09:34

Absolutely. I think I obviously phrase it a little bit differently, but I, I try to help people recognize the fact that they do want to do what they want to do when they want to do it and they never want to run out of money. And so I try to talk my way through what they find is important to them, and help them focus on that so that it gives them that personal motivation to do the harder things, you know, skipping whatever it is, or setting aside more now, so that they have some later we all do it when we plan for vacations, right? We all want to take time away from the office, and ultimately, you’re going to, but sometimes if you take a few moments to plan it out, then you’re gonna go to the place that you want to go, have the experience that you want to have, rather than just having seven days off of work and having a staycation. Right? And so talking them through, really what is they want to accomplish is a way of talking about don’t regret this, don’t just, you’re gonna have the time off, you’re gonna end up somewhere, but don’t make it just sitting at home on the couch, unless you want to watch and the Indians.

Rob  10:44

Well, what else would you want to do in retirement?

Craig Moncey  10:47

I do not know.

Rob  10:50

Yeah, but that’s a great point. Because, you know, I think when I, I mean, I spent a lot of years as a financial advisor, helping people through their retirement. And now that I’m in my seventh decade, I’m around people who are retiring or have retired in the last five and 10 years. And I feel really bad for the folks who don’t know how to spend their day because they didn’t do that part of their planning. You know, they just they picked a date, maybe they made sure they had enough money. But they didn’t stop to think okay, but what do I want to do with that time that I’m going to have?

Craig Moncey  11:29

Yeah, I feel the exact same way. I spent a lot of time talking with other financial advisors, one of our, our long-term goals is to help advisors to retire the way that they want to retire and leave their clients with an organization that have similar methodologies and ethics and more. And so, we help a lot of advisors with that conversation and ultimately with their, their transition. And, and I find that to be very common, that advisors have spent so much time helping other people do stuff that they, they don’t really know what they’re going to do. And it’s interesting to me, it’s almost like the cobbler that doesn’t help people with or have shoes for their own kids. Right. But it’s the, the adviser that doesn’t have a hobby, because he’s only been focused on business his whole life. And, and now it’s like, challenging for him to retire. He’s got nothing to do,

Rob  12:25

Right. Yeah, you know, I said, I was, I was, as I was asking that question I was just thinking about people in general. But I’m really glad you pointed it towards advisors, because there are a lot of advisors who listen to this podcast. And I think that that lack of forward thinking in terms of how they want their careers to go, where they want their businesses to be at the time, they’re ready to walk away is a big mistake that advisors make they think, Well, gosh, you know, I can just decide a year before I want to retire, or six months where I want to retire, what I want to have happen with my business, and then they just find themselves in a, in a heap. And I know in your work, in addition to working with individual clients, and helping them with their retirement planning that you also serve other advisors and helping them build stronger practices where, where they can begin to have and implement plans for, for where they want to, where they want things to go as their businesses mature, and they’re thinking about stepping away.

Craig Moncey  13:27

Yep. Well, and advisors aren’t alone. It’s most business owners in general, right? They, they work, work, work and you know, the fire at their feet. And one of my most favorite books out there is the E Myth, where it talks about business owners just not having time to focus on their business and what their real plan is. And advisors are just they find themselves as a business owner, when really what they want to be as a financial advisor, and really trying to bring somebody into this business and cultivating them the way that to serve their clients. It’s just a huge challenge. And most people don’t think about doing that until the, the eighth or ninth inning, they’re like, man, I’m 60 years old, you know, I don’t want to do this forever. So, time for me to go find a young adviser. And you know, that takes years. So, I’ve been concentrating on it. And I’ve been working on it for eight years now trying to bring in younger people into the business. And it’s just really tough to get past the idea that, that they don’t even know what financial advisors do.

Rob  14:27

Right. And yeah, and I think for some of the older folks, they are so enamored with giving financial advice, managing investments, managing financial plans for clients, and they’re really good at it, that it’s almost like that other thing is just something they have to put up with. But at some point, it catches, catches up with them. And I think all the good effort that they put into building these great businesses and taking care of their clients begins to suffer, suffer because of that.

Announcer  15:02

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Rob  15:19

So, let’s, let’s change gears, you know, what do you, what advice do you have for the, for our listeners, you know, this is a world that has become increasingly negative. And it’s really easy to kind of get down on ourselves or the environment that we’re in, and you’re so good at staying positive and staying focused was trying to lift other people up, even though sometimes you may not believe that about yourself, what do you, what do you, what do you do to kind of battle that negativity and help other people cheer other people on?

Craig Moncey  16:03

Oh, man, it’s got to be the best way for me is by surrounding myself with those positive people. And as I was thinking, as you were asking the question, I’m thinking about the answer. You come to my mind, right? You and I spend a bunch of time together on the phone, and you’re always helping me to work past if I am in that, you know, that 5% mood or whatever, you always push me to think of the other things that I should be thinking about not the cha, not the challenge itself, or not the negativity but you know, maybe the successes that we’ve had, or the small wins that we’ve had along the way that I tend to not take time to look at. So, I think surrounding oneself with really positive people that you can lean on when you’re not feeling that way or that know you well enough that can push you out of that, that groove and put you back into the groove view you should be in or that you normally are in.

Rob  17:01

Yeah, I think that’s great advice. I appreciate the compliment. But I feel the same way about you. Because sometimes when you’re doing what I do you feel a little like you get, you get better advice sometimes than you, then you give even though it’s supposed to be the other way, other way around. But I think the other thing is that’s inside of what you said is, and I’m not going to use the words exactly, it sounds like you try to look past the short term. So, when you see those negative things, those things are getting in the way, you don’t look at those as being permanent obstacles. They’re just something that’s in the way, but there’s something bigger on the other side of that, that you’re going after that you’re trying to achieve. And so that, is that part of kind of getting past that, that obstacle or that negative, that negative thought or that negative energy?

Craig Moncey  17:54

Absolutely, if we allowed our phones or our TVs to be the only source of information, that tends to be really painful stuff all the time. And so, if we only focused on those things, then every day seems like a grind. But if you go back in time, and you look at, at the grinds that were happening at that time, where do you stand today, if they’re, it’s totally different, it’s a wonderful place that you’ve been able to get to. And given my profession, we have unlimited charts available to us of like the s&p 500 or the Dow or whatnot that put negative things that have happened in time or take a look at presidents and who was doing what at one time, and then just shows that the market always prevails. And but then the negative news that around that timeframe makes it feel like it’ll never be better. Never, it’ll never come out of this, we’ll never get out of COVID Or we’ll, we’ll never, you know, the inflation is so bad, we’ll never see the other side of it. But really, we’ve, it’s nothing that we haven’t seen before. It’s just different version. I once read of Mark Twain saying that history does not repeat itself, but it does rhyme, and I think that is so important for us to remember is that history is not going to do the same thing over and over again. But it’s going to do something super similar. So, the older we get, we can always look back in time and, and say, you know, I’ve been through this, it’s not the same, but I’ve been through a version of this so I can get myself through it and get to the other side of it.

Rob  19:27

The funny thing about that is, like, I’m thinking about it, and like, it just feels, it doesn’t feel that long ago. It’s 40 years ago. Yeah, yeah. 86 is 35 years ago. Yeah, that’s, that’s a great expression. I’m not sure I’ve heard that before. But I’m sure I’ve heard a lot. There’s a lot of Mark Twain that I’ve not heard, he probably had, he’s probably at the, at the top of the list if you go those quote sites to look for famous quotes, like who has the most famous quotes that you can use when you’re writing a speech right and Mark Twain. Yeah, but that’s but that’s really a good thing to think about because, you know, I date myself but you know, I was in the business, you know, during the 1987 crash. And I want to say and somebody who’s listening to this might correct me. But it was also around that time that some of those Ibbotson charts came out the show like the history of the market going back to 1926. I mean, the information was there, but I think maybe Ibbetson data became a, became a thing. And you know, we would, we would, you know, even back in 87, how many years ago? Was that a long time, like, 20? I can’t do the math. Yeah, that’s a long time ago.

Craig Moncey  20:42

But does not feel like it for sure.

Rob  20:44

But my point in saying that is it’s as you know, in this profession, you know, we use, we have been using those charts and looking at the you know, try to not get over caught up in the bad times, focus on the fact that things do come back, which is a good corollary to the way that we should live our lives. Not allow that, but, but we don’t, you know, we can let it get us down. But if we remember what Mark Twain said about history, not repeating itself, but maybe rhyming maybe we can make, make some, some sense of that. So, let’s move on. What’s, what’s an ideal client for, for you? Who are the, who are you looking for? And maybe you can answer that from two perspectives, both in terms of the clients that you work with, and help with their financial and retirement planning, but also those advisors that you serve, who are looking for opportunities for succession, or partnering with you.

Craig Moncey  21:40

I think it’s the same answer the ideal client, the ideal advisor to partner with the ideal person to put around me in my world, I think they’re all the same person. And those people are, are people that consider themselves professionals, that are really focused on their family. So, professionals who love their family that want to make an impact in the world around them, that want to leave a mark of some sort, and that respects and accepts sound advice. I think those are qualities that I of people that I want in my life at all times. Because if they’re part of my life, I’m the sum of the five people that I spend the most amount of time with. And so that means that I will also become one of those people, more professional, more loving to my family more, more desire, or desiring to live a bigger impact on my community and the people that I love and the things that I want to impact.

Rob  22:35

Do you think the way that you live and act out in the world and the community kind of helps you attract those people? Are you sometimes surprised by the people who are, you know, kind of come to you, whether it’s as an advisor or looking for help, or as a client looking for help that you that you naturally attract them? Because of the way that you live?

Craig Moncey  22:54

I’m afraid of saying yes, because it might sound on the edge of being egotistical. Right. So. So I’m afraid but at the same time, the answer is yes, I do. Because you know, if my phone rang a couple weeks ago, and it was from somebody that I, I barely talked to, but, but they said, you know, I’m retiring. And I remember our conversation that we had around this organization and the guidance that you gave me about what I should be doing about how to how to impact organization and how I should adjust my will to be able to give, you know, when I do pathway to impact your and, and candidly, I really don’t remember the conversation as clearly as this person did. But obviously, it made an impact on them. And that was all these things, right? She, she’s ready to retire. She’s looking for somebody that can give her sound advice. And we are, you know, we love our families, we are wanting to impact our community and all those things. So, I think the answer is yes, I do find that I attract those people, because I want to be that person too.

Rob  23:54

Yeah, I was hoping you’d answer the question that way. Because I guess part of my point in asking and getting you to articulate and share that story, which was awesome, is I think that’s part of being a Truest Fan. When you believe in yourself and you really care for others and route them on and you give a lot even though you may not get something straight back you give even without expecting to get something that, that has a way of bringing new opportunities to you maybe sometimes when you, when you least expect them and that can be so, so rewarding,

Craig Moncey  24:27

Completely agree with you.

Rob  24:28

So if somebody’s I’m sorry, go, go ahead.

Craig Moncey  24:31

I was just gonna, it is rewarding. You know, I, I’ve thought about that conversation frequently over the last couple of weeks since I had it thinking that I was not out trying to do those things. I was just being those things. And that made me feel like I was, I was doing, was doing the things that I want to do. And I was, I was already making those impacts.

Rob  24:53

Right. Yeah. Because I think when you’re out living in the world, the right way that you’re reflecting that person that God intended you to be and that is a, that’s a powerful marketing tool, even if you’re not using it for that explicit, explicit purpose. So, what’s the best way if you’re maybe an advisor in and around Quincy or somebody who’s planning for retirement in and around Quincy to get to get in touch with you to learn more about the things you do?

Craig Moncey  25:21

Probably the easiest way is to call the office and our office phone numbers 217-203-6464, they can always go to our website, which is www.ipiwm.com. And on there has our contact information has a place to ask questions, if you’d like or just go around the website to see what we do and how we do it.

Rob  25:45

Yeah, awesome. And I’ll be sure to put that contact info in the, in the show notes. So, people see it. So, in case you didn’t get a chance to write it down, because you’re driving down the road listening to the podcast, and you shouldn’t be writing things down. And then, so, so Craig, this is this has been this has been great. I don’t want to do a little bit of kind of a summary of what we’ve talked about. And then I’ll ask you at the end, you know, is there anything else that you want to share with the audience and add to that, but you know, you started out by talking about being a Cardinals fan. And one of the reasons that you really appreciate the Cardinals is their consistency. And you talk kind of about the importance of consistency. And I know that carries through in the work that you do. When you talked about great advice that you’ve been given, you mentioned an army sergeant who told you don’t regret anything and talked about how when making decisions, especially about long term important things, take your time and do them so you don’t regret not doing something just because you felt like you were too busy at the time, you talked about the importance of making a real plans to really think about where you want to go what you want the future look like you use, you know, a very disciplined planning process with your clients and use a discipline planning process when you’re helping guide an adviser to where they want to take their business. And then you also shared a great Mark Twain, quote, History doesn’t repeat itself., but it does rhyme sometimes. And I think that’s just a great thing to think about when we’re maybe, maybe wondering why stuffs happening around us, and we want to be a little negative and we shouldn’t be and we say you know, let’s just, let’s just give it a rest. So, so great, great stuff. But what else? Is there anything else as we’re closing the podcast you’d like to share with the audience?

Craig Moncey  27:41

You know, I think the biggest thing that I tried to focus on is just really trying to put the other person’s thoughts first, and try to take my own agenda and move it off to the side nine, that’s a huge ask, right? I mean, it’s almost impossible to do, but we do it on a regular basis with our family, with our closest friends. It’s not hard to do it for those people, because you know that they’re invested in you, right. But if you can take the one extra step and do it to a stranger, they might not have the same group of people that, that pour into them as you do that pour into you. And so, if you really can just empathize with, if one could just empathize with somebody else and understand where they’re coming from. And like really put your own agenda aside to be the person that they can lean on or give advice to of how to get them out of their funk or so that they don’t have to regret or whatnot, like folds back to those other things. But it really is if, if you can replace your own agenda with somebody else’s, it always comes back tenfold. And it’s just, just to the investment at first has to be made before you can have the rewards.

Rob  28:49

Yeah, that is, that’s some great advice. And you actually remind me of passage in Philippians. I was just happened to be doing a Bible study earlier this week. And we were looking at Philip, Philippians two and in verse three, it says, Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, rather, in humility value others above yourself. And I think that’s a pretty awesome way to go about life. And I think, I think what you said that you tried to do and that’s a, it’s an, it’s an, it’s an easy quote to read. But it’s, it can be a hard thing to do, I think, I think that’s great advice is you know, as you go about life, you think about how you want to reflect the awesome person that you are because of who made you doing that in a way that really is putting other people first is really, is really an important way to think about it.

Craig Moncey  29:44

I’m glad that you brought up that verse because as I was talking my way through that I was thinking of two others you know one in Luke one in Mark where Jesus was talking about, I’m not here for the righteous, right? I’m here for the sinners and another time when he says, like the healthy they don’t need a doctor. It’s the people that are sick, right? And, and, and it’s the same thing as that we need to reach out and we need to be a better person to the ones that, that need the help. We oftentimes forget about that, you know, we often skipped over it. So, I’m glad you brought that up. So, I think that is so very important.

Rob  30:20

Yeah, absolutely. And it’s just, it’s just, I think it brings out the whole idea that to lead is to serve and, and that’s, that’s one of the ways that I think about the way that I view you in this world as somebody who really is out there to serve others. And in doing so, take the lead on so many, so many important things and impact lots of lives. So, I think that’s really cool. Well, Craig, it has been, it’s been awesome to have you on the Truest Fan podcast and to the audience. I hope that you picked up at least a few good nuggets from this conversation because Craig shared some great wisdom thought. Thanks for listening in. We’ll see you next week.

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